Life Is No Game

lingshell 發表在 痞客邦 留言(1) 人氣()

lingshell 發表在 痞客邦 留言(1) 人氣()

lingshell 發表在 痞客邦 留言(3) 人氣()

lingshell 發表在 痞客邦 留言(12) 人氣()

最近看完兩位舊同學的網誌，我忽然覺得...我的生活好像不是我想要的樣子？！我的網誌好像也不是我要表達的樣子...
雖然生活有「慢慢」走向我要的方向，但行進非常緩慢，慢到不禁讓人誤認是原地踱步，看著兩旁行進的風景，還會有自己在後退的錯覺。有時我不禁懷疑(I couldn't help but wonder--From Sex and the City-Carry的口頭禪)，是不是我沒有努力朝目標前進。想想應該不是的﹝我希望它不是的﹞，有時前進需要等待時機，但等待往往枯燥得令人發狂。
最近看讀碩士班的同學一個個畢業，有些也順利考上博士班，心裡總是一陣揪痛與掙扎。不是我不想讀，只是不得已。我承認當時的我或許還沒有找到適合的方向，反正也沒有考上，就順利成章地栽進職場去了。栽進去就出不來。Yeah, I need the money.  And I've said sometimes you have to be material to be a human, don't you?  我的確是不甘心，我是個一日不讀書就自覺空虛的人，是個一有課可以上就眼睛都亮起來的人﹝抱歉喔~歷史和數學課除外﹞，電腦前的你若是認識我，應該也不會否認我是塊讀書的料吧？！雖然說自修也是可以的，雖然說學歷不代表一切，但是...當七分都可以讀大學，當一些很膚淺的只看得見表面的人拿你們來比較，還是會覺得：他們憑什麼！...但是路已走到這裡，我的升學路或許就只能結婚生子以後再說了...﹝在此向所有踏入職場或家庭後繼續升學的成人們致敬，其實我身邊這種人還蠻多的，像我母親、舅舅，但也比不上袁老師您一邊教書、邊照顧兩個孩子還有辦法寫博士論文，實在是好強~~﹞

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I hate Father’s Day.  It’s good that it doesn’t fall on a weekend this year.  But it is still near weekend.  Too bad.  Well, a little bit bad, just a bit. 
 
Can you imagine a father ASK FOR a gift from his daughter?  And he even named what he wanted!  Do modesty and manner no longer exist in this society?  I can’t accept this whatever you say.  (Don’t know I hate the day or actually hate the word in front of it. (shrug) )

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lingshell 發表在 痞客邦 留言(6) 人氣()

People might think I'm an optimist; thinking optimistically, acting optimistically.
 
(Maybe it depends on how much you know me?  Or you guys never think so at all? Ha!~)
 
But somehow my writing is always in a gloomy mode.
 
I have to admit that sometimes, or I always think that a gloomy mood makes good works of art, no matter in literature or other art forms.
 
I don’t know~ I just would not think of writing something when I am happy, but I always have the strong impulse and needs to write when I am desperate, upset, or in whatever kind of bad mood.
 
And almost all ancient poets in Chinese got a rough career, many writers worldwide had a broken childhood or painful relationship, didn’t they?
 
This proves my theory—people may not be so lucky and blessed in every aspect.  At least the God or fate compensated them with talents and great names in history.
 
OK, back to my topic.  So if I were a writer, I would write little when I have a contented life.  Then maybe I write three month a time as I do in my blog and only publish one book with an interval of three years and my readers will all forget about me~ now I am just babbling (under the effect of some caffeine).
 
So what did you get from this journal?  I can’t be a writer?  I am a pessimist?  Maybe~
 
But I can give you a better conclusion—yeah, I am in a bad mood.  Or you can say, WE, my boyfriend and I, are both in a bad mood, period.
 
(Oh, no, no, no.  We are not fighting or arguing, if you are concerned.  Just very upset and annoyed by many trivial, loathsome, annoying, troublesome and complicated goddamned matters happened in both our families~ yuck! )

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lingshell 發表在 痞客邦 留言(4) 人氣()

作決定真的事件很難的事
尤其在你背負了愈來愈多重擔  有愈來愈多顧慮之後。

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lingshell 發表在 痞客邦 留言(2) 人氣()

lingshell 發表在 痞客邦 留言(4) 人氣()

荒廢很久了喔...
很多人是在網誌上寫日記的
我不喜歡將隱私公開到網路上
所以寫的都是一些模糊不清、不著重點的情緒和情感
但是你也可以說　這其實才是最私密的部分
就像寫散文一樣吧

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lingshell 發表在 痞客邦 留言(6) 人氣()

堅 持 等 待 一 片 不 肯 掉 落 的 葉 子 墜 下 ， 
想 起 整 樹 翠 綠 的 青 春 。
冬 日 即 將 到 來 ，
鑽 進 被 窩 準 備 長 長 的 冬 眠 。
我 望 著 最 後 的 枯 葉 ， 
鬆 脫 、 飄 落 、 翻 轉......
為 消 逝 的 時 光 ， 默 哀 。 

 

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lingshell 發表在 痞客邦 留言(2) 人氣()

I had a large piece of blueberry & chocolate cake today 
It is to celebrate my colleague's birthday
However, then 
it became "the end of the year is coming" cake
I don't know why it is worth celebrating, 
but all I want to do is to mourn 
that the beautiful summertime has gone
and the dreadful winnter is comming 
on its way...

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